When emotion overwhelms your divorcing female clients: How a financial expert can help

When you meet with female clients about their divorce, your focus is likely on assessing the estate and deciding how to split assets during the settlement. But divorce isn’t only a legal process; it’s also a highly emotional experience.

Your clients have strong emotional ties to their assets. For instance, the family home represents security, and they’ll have many memories of living with their partner and potentially raising a family there.

Much of their identity is wrapped up in the shared assets and the relationship they had with their ex-partner. There may be feelings of grief, anger, resentment, and sadness tied to the end of the relationship, too.

Divorce also raises questions about fairness and who should receive what from the settlement.

These are all incredibly strong emotions that run through every decision, so your clients can easily become overwhelmed.

You may be unaware of the emotional turmoil your clients are experiencing

Many of the women you help might be reluctant to share their true feelings with you. This is especially true of older, affluent women who are used to managing problems themselves without asking for help.

This means that you might be unaware of the extent of the emotional turmoil your clients are experiencing and how this might influence their decisions.

It’s important to look for some of the tell-tale signs that they might be overwhelmed by their emotions. These include:

• Struggling to make decisions
• Appearing detached, burned out, or depressed
• Rushing the divorce process to get it out of the way
• Failing to engage with important discussions about splitting assets.

If you notice these behaviours, your client is likely overwhelmed, and this could cause them to make subpar decisions.

17% of women experience financial regret after a divorce

When women feel overwhelmed by the strong emotions associated with their divorce and the process of dividing their estate, it becomes more difficult to make considered decisions.

In some cases, women might accept an unsatisfactory settlement because they’re overwhelmed and want to get the process over with quickly. It is only later, once they begin to heal emotionally, that they see the situation clearly.

Clients may also lack the mental capacity to think about future plans as they struggle to deal with emotional turmoil. This could mean they focus on their short-term income while neglecting long-term security.

Consequently, according to Mills & Reeve (19 May 2026), finances were the most common reason that people reflected negatively on the decisions they made during their divorce. The report shows that 17% of women said financial decisions were their biggest regret.

Pensions are a key asset that is often overlooked or sacrificed when decisions are hampered by emotional overwhelm. For instance, women might neglect to split pensions so they can keep the family home, which they feel strong emotional ties to.

Alternatively, if decisions are rushed, pensions might simply be forgotten about.

That’s why Workplace Journal (6 May 2025) reports that 19% of people who had divorced said they wished they had handled pensions differently.

To help your clients avoid these feelings of regret, you might consider referring them to a financial professional.

Professional financial support can make divorce feel less overwhelming

I can create a safe space for clients, approaching them with empathy and understanding. My experience working with women during divorce means I recognise the emotional challenges they face.

By providing support from the very beginning of the divorce process, I can stop your clients from becoming overwhelmed. In our initial conversations, I can explore their concerns and provide reassurance, while also reframing the issue to focus on their finances.

Using cashflow modelling, I can input information about their income and assets to give them a clear picture of their current position and what their future could look like.

By changing variables and modelling scenarios, I can show clients the results of their decisions and various trade-offs. For instance, how could keeping the family home instead of splitting pensions affect their retirement?

When I provide this clarity, your clients can cut through the challenging emotions and make decisions based on data and facts.

I’ll also help clients set new financial goals and create a plan to achieve them after the divorce.

This means that they can come out on the other side feeling confident about their finances.

Your interaction with the client may be smoother, too. As I support them with the financial side of things, they may feel less overwhelmed and be able to make decisions more quickly and effectively.

That said, it’s important for clients to seek professional support from the beginning of the process because, once crucial decisions have been made, it can be challenging to reverse them.

Get in touch

If you have female clients struggling with the overwhelming emotion of divorce, I can support them.

Email lottie@truefinancialdesign.co.uk or call 07824 554288 to learn more about how I could help.

I am also happy to discuss cases with solicitors first, before you refer your clients to me, or you can contact me by email and CC your client accordingly. I am happy to accommodate whatever mode of communication works best for you and your clients.

Please note

This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at individuals only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate cashflow planning.

A pension is a long term investment the fund value may fluctuate and can go down. Your eventual income may depend upon the size of the fund at retirement, future interest rates and tax legislation.

The tax implications of pension withdrawals will be based on your individual circumstances. Thresholds, percentage rates, and tax legislation may change in subsequent Finance Acts. 

Approved by 2Plan wealth management Ltd on: 17/7/2026