How women can support their adult children financially while also nurturing their independence

No matter how old your children are, if you see them struggling financially, you’ll likely want to help.

Unfortunately, the ongoing cost of living crisis is making it harder for many young people to build financial security and reach key milestones, such as buying their first home.

Indeed, a survey by HomeOwners Alliance (15 April 2024) found that 54% of UK parents have either helped or expect to help their children with financial support to buy a home.

Moreover, many parents are supporting their children to cover non-essential costs. Research by Kent Reliance (20 June 2024) revealed that 42% of parents pay for their adult children to join their family holidays.

However, handing over cash to your adult children whenever they need or want something they can’t afford could undermine their independence. As such, they might find it harder to manage their finances in the future if you’re not around to help.

What’s more, financial independence can bolster long-term wellbeing by instilling confidence, resilience, and a sense of achievement.

Keep reading to discover practical tips for supporting your adult children, while also encouraging them to take control of their financial futures.

Pass on your financial knowledge

Research published by PA Future (7 March 2025) shows that just 23% of men and 19% of women feel they received a good education on managing money in school.

What’s more, Aqua (3 October 2025) found that 67% of 25 to 34-year-olds and 53% of 21 to 24-year-olds use AI tools such as ChatGPT for financial guidance.

This is worrying because even the most advanced AI platforms can’t offer a personalised approach that accounts for your children’s specific needs. Moreover, an Exploding Topics (29 October 2025) survey found that 42% of web users had received inaccurate or misleading content from AI overviews.

As such, while talking about money with your children might feel awkward at first, it could be a powerful tool for building your children’s financial independence.

By sharing your knowledge, skills, and life experiences around money management, you might enable your children to:

• Make informed financial decisions
• Avoid costly mistakes and financial scams
• Build confidence, resilience, and self-control
• Assess the reliability and accuracy of information and guidance.

Contribute to your children’s pensions

Research published by Money Marketing (26 June 2024) reveals that 79% of women and 74% of men are unaware that they can pay into someone else’s pension.

If this is news to you, it’s worth considering as a tax-efficient way to bolster your children’s financial security while ensuring they retain responsibility for managing their day-to-day finances.

Indeed, making third-party contributions to your children’s pension pots could help them build the funds they need to achieve their desired retirement and provide invaluable peace of mind.

Normally, any payments you make into your children’s pensions will be treated as if they made the contributions themselves. This would mean they receive 20% basic tax relief and could claim an additional 20% or 25% if they are a higher-rate or additional-rate taxpayer, respectively.

If you make regular contributions over several years, this could contribute towards a substantial pension for your children.

Also, paying into your children’s pensions could reduce the value of your estate for Inheritance Tax (IHT) purposes. This might help you transfer more of your wealth to your children when you pass away.

However, it’s important to note that all pension contributions – personal, employer, and third party – count towards your child’s Annual Allowance. This is the maximum amount of contributions that can be made to their pension in a single tax year without an additional tax charge.

In 2025/26, the Annual Allowance is £60,000. Your child’s tax-efficient contributions are limited to up to 100% of their earnings. Your child’s allowance may be lower if their earnings exceed certain thresholds or, in the unlikely event, they have already flexibly accessed their pension.

Set up trusts to help fund your grandchildren’s schooling

According to Money Week (18 August 2025), the average cost of sending a child to a private day school increased to £7,832 a term in January this year, which is 22.6% higher than it was in January 2024.

Weatherbys private bank (13 August 2025) estimates that the average total cost of fees over the course of a child’s school life now stands at £377,000, rising to £763,000 for boarders.

The increasing cost of a private education is due largely to inflation and the introduction of VAT on school fees from 1 January 2025.

You could ease this financial burden for your children by setting up a trust to partially or completely fund your grandchildren’s school fees.

A trust is a legal arrangement that allows you to ringfence assets for a “trustee” to manage on behalf of your chosen beneficiary. If you name your child as the trustee, they can only use the funds as you have specified.

As such, you control how much and what type of support to give your adult children, leaving them accountable for managing their wealth outside of this arrangement.

Additionally, any assets placed in a trust will not usually be included in your estate for IHT purposes. However, there may be IHT to pay at certain points throughout the trust’s lifetime and if you die within seven years of setting up the trust.

This is a complex area, and it’s worth consulting a financial planner who can help you choose a trust structure that meets your specific needs.

I can help you support your children without compromising your financial future

The desire to help your children when they’re facing challenges or feeling unhappy is often instinctive and overpowering for women.

However, it’s crucial that you find a balance between supporting your children and safeguarding your financial wellbeing.

As a female financial planner and a mother, I can provide the objective and empathetic support you need to make important decisions about how to manage your wealth in the short and long term.

Using sophisticated cashflow modelling software, I can help you understand how much and what type of support you can offer without compromising your goals.

Get in touch

If you’re keen to support your children financially without undermining their independence or jeopardising your plans, I can help.

To find out more, please get in touch by email at lottie@truefinancialdesign.co.uk or call 03300 889138.

Please note

This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, cashflow planning, tax planning, or trusts.

A pension is a long-term investment not normally accessible until 55 (57 from April 2028). The fund value may fluctuate and can go down, which would have an impact on the level of pension benefits available. Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future performance. 

The tax implications of pension withdrawals will be based on your individual circumstances. Thresholds, percentage rates, and tax legislation may change in subsequent Finance Acts.

Approved by 2plan wealth management Ltd 5/11/25.