It’s not disloyal to seek financial advice during divorce. Here’s why

Research by Legal & General (6 January 2025) has revealed that only 7% of UK adults seek financial advice during a divorce, despite 40% believing that the process is financially unfair.

There could be many reasons why you might hesitate to reach out for professional support and guidance during divorce settlement negotiations. Perhaps you have limited time for meetings, or maybe you’re unsure what to expect?

One of the most common concerns I hear from clients who approach me is, “I’m worried that my ex will think I’m being disloyal for seeking advice, and this could lead to unnecessary conflict.”

Yet, I know from experience that working with a financial planner during a separation is a powerful act of self-care that may even reduce the risk of disagreements. Here’s why.

Gain essential clarity and ensure fairness

Understanding your financial position is a crucial first step towards achieving an equitable settlement.

This may not be straightforward if:

• You and your ex-spouse or partner hold some assets separately
• Your ex took the lead in managing your shared finances
• You share complex assets, such as business interests or overseas properties.

Fortunately, a financial planner can help you gain an objective valuation of how much your shared assets are worth by liaising with appropriate specialists in their professional network.

They can also ensure that both parties provide full financial disclosure, which could prevent hidden assets or misunderstandings.

On the other hand, without professional advice, there may be a greater risk of making costly mistakes – such as waiving your rights to pensions.

Read more: Women and divorce – How to avoid 4 common financial mistakes

Facilitate a positive outcome for both parties

Far from being disloyal to your ex-spouse or partner, seeking financial advice could benefit you both.

Ensuring that you have a solid grasp of your finances is likely to enable balanced negotiations that are less stressful and more productive. This could reduce the risk of resentment and conflict.

If you both walk away satisfied, there’s also less chance that either of you will want to re-open negotiations in the future – which could lead to further upset and expense.

Moreover, it’s in your ex’s best interests to ensure that you have the support and guidance you need to become financially independent following your divorce. This means you can achieve a clean break with neither party reliant on the other in the long term.

Feel empowered through education and emotional support

For many of my female clients, concerns about maintaining financial stability in the short- and long-term following a divorce are a significant cause of stress.

This may be especially true for women who were the primary caregivers in their relationship or who have lower earning potential than their ex-spouse or partner.

As such, seeking financial advice could be an educational and empowering experience.

A financial planner can explain complex financial matters, such as the potential tax implications of dividing shared assets. This could allow you to make informed, data-driven decisions – rather than acting on your emotions.

As a result, you might benefit from more balanced and calm negotiations that facilitate a better outcome for both you and your ex-spouse or partner.

Indeed, a study by Canada Life (29 September 2023) found that 65% of women who worked with a financial planner during their divorce felt their settlement was fair, compared to just 35% who did not seek financial advice.

Plan for a financially secure future

Financial advice isn’t just about getting the help you need to manage your immediate finances during the divorce process. It’s also an invaluable tool for building a financially secure future.

Ongoing professional support could allow you to build the emotional strength and financial resilience you need to prepare for life after divorce by:

• Ensuring you have the advice you need when making decisions about your settlement, reducing the risk of future disputes
• Creating a budget that aligns with your new circumstances and aspirations
• Setting achievable short- and long-term goals.

This could provide valuable peace of mind and help you lay the foundation for a financially independent future.

Avoid potentially costly and stressful mistakes

Following divorce, it’s likely that you’ll need to adjust your budget and long-term financial plan to reflect changes in your circumstances and aspirations.

If you’re used to managing your finances as a couple, this could be complicated and forging ahead without professional insight may lead to costly errors.

In contrast, a financial planner can share their experience, skills, and knowledge to help you navigate your finances more effectively.

For example, they may use cashflow modelling software to help you understand how different settlement scenarios could affect your future income, or show you how much you might need to save and invest to fund a single retirement.

Moreover, the Canada Life (29 September 2023) research revealed that following a separation, women tend to prioritise short-term goals like budgeting over planning for the future.

So, a financial expert can ensure you don’t overlook long-term needs, such as estate and retirement planning, while focusing on your immediate needs during and after divorce.

Seeking financial advice is a sign of strength and self-advocacy – get in touch today

Divorce can be an emotionally challenging experience, and the added stress of financial uncertainty could feel overwhelming.

So, it’s important to remind yourself that consulting a financial planner is neither a sign of weakness nor disloyalty. It shows strength and a desire to protect your financial wellbeing – and that of any dependants you may have.

I specialise in supporting women with all their financial planning needs before, during, and after divorce. I can help you build and manage the wealth you need for your desired lifestyle, both now and in later life.

If you’d like to know more about how we can work together to shape your future following divorce, I’d love to hear from you.

To find out more, please get in touch by email at lottie@truefinancialdesign.co.uk or call 03300889138.

Please note

This article is for general information only and does not constitute advice. The information is aimed at retail clients only.

All information is correct at the time of writing and is subject to change in the future.

Please do not act based on anything you might read in this article. All contents are based on our understanding of HMRC legislation, which is subject to change.

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate estate planning, cashflow planning, or tax planning.

A pension is a long-term investment not normally accessible until 55 (57 from April 2028). The fund value may fluctuate and can go down, which would have an impact on the level of pension benefits available. Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future performance. 

The tax implications of pension withdrawals will be based on your individual circumstances. Thresholds, percentage rates, and tax legislation may change in subsequent Finance Acts.